quote:

Originally posted by Braling II:
Is true love possible after puberty?

Good one. It took a long while before I knew for sure it had irretrievably passed me by but I give up very slowly. I realize most of my life has been a lie because it is all based on beliefs which were really just damage control to deny how hopeless my wretched existence is so when people came around saying I should kill myself I could feel superior laughing up my sleeve and saying, "Little do they know." I was really hoping to present Ray with ultimate proof of this so we could have a good laugh over it together. The incident with the high school kids was my latest little "wakeup call" and I don't really have an answer so nobody better be askin'.

Right now I am sad because I have watched The Cameraman twice and can't bring myself to watch it again. I keep thinking of that Bradbury story (you know the one) where a group of friends got around the piano one evening and sang together and it was just perfect. At their next get-together, they tried some of the same songs and it just wasn't right. Finally someone had to put the lid on the piano like putting it to a merciful death. And I wonder if it would be like that if I watched The Cameraman again and if so I don't think I could bear it so I am just too scared to watch it. If I become too agitated I think about how mean certain people were to me till my body is smarting all over from the blows I can feel, then when I am in sufficient pain I can stop so it can subside. Then I think maybe it doesn't matter as the world might end in December and everyone who has it so much better or thinks they are so much better than I am might get wiped out before I do. I think my being happy for two months was a weird flash in the pan and the results are not, as scientists put it, "repeatable." It's very sad that contemplating death and destruction is the only way to cheer up even a little.

Pooh-berty is a good word.

quote:

Originally posted by Braling II:
Is true love possible after puberty?

If you're very, very lucky.

Perhaps the best thing is to say it is possible but not expected. Society and culture lead us to believe it is or should be expected and then we spend the second half of our lives deprogramming what was learned in the first half.

The question is, is it all right still to form affection and attraction to someone who embodies ideals you yourself will never experience? If not all right, how do you force yourself to just stop cold, and should you?

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
The question is, is it all right still to form affection and attraction to someone who embodies ideals you yourself will never experience? If not all right, how do you force yourself to just stop cold, and should you?

How does one know they'll never experience it?

quote:

Originally posted by Doug Spaulding:
How does one know they'll never experience it?

Indications indicate.

For an eagerly-awaiting public, more pictures of Buster Kitten! https://www.facebook.com/media...=1&bef=3682180978340 Most are of Buster demonstrating the fine art of relaxation, sometimes helped by Skipper.

Not wishing to contradict Gandhi, but I've always had a problem with the philosophies in those two graphics, and with that old saying "to thine own self be true".

Why?

Because it only works for "good" people. You wouldn't want Hitler, or Jack the Ripper, or any other evil so-and-so to be true to themselves, or to do the thing they love, or speak their mind.

And as advice for good people it's pretty worthless, since good people will only do good things anyway.

Sorry, Gandhi. It's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't really get us anywhere!

It's for good people wracked by doubt as they've been demoralized by bad people.

I have been thinking lately--and I've had occasion to think about it A LOT--that I never go into any situation thinking, "What are these people all about and how can I change myself to be just like them?" The only time I tried anything of the kind was in high school under considerable pressure from both family and peers, and even then I had my limits--certain lines of hypocrisy and self-degradation I absolutely refused to cross under any pressure even had I been able, which I couldn't have pulled off had I tried. Even as far as I willingly went from my own comfort level, didn't work. In fact, I drew as much, and arguably more, negative attention through my efforts to change as through my refusal to compromise. Had I tried to push further, I'd have been not only miserable (which I was anyway) but miserable with no self-respect. If it can be said I have "no regrets," that would be the reason. (Sadly, and not because I have so much to show for it now!) So when someone from the Keaton newsgroup kept writing me telling me to look at posts before October to see what the group "should" be like, I wouldn't even look. I have very little interest in what the world would be like without me and anyhow we'll all know soon enough for better or worse when I'm dead. What interests me is what kind of difference I can make by sincerely following my interests. Apparently there are people who would actively seek to prevent that. My interest in Buster is struggling back very much in the manner of a trampled plant.

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
It's for good people wracked by doubt as they've been demoralized by bad people.

That could work. If only Gandhi (et al) would preface their remarks with such a statement!

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
I have been thinking lately--and I've had occasion to think about it A LOT--that I never go into any situation thinking, "What are these people all about and how can I change myself to be just like them?" ...

I don't know that ANYONE consciously does that, except in certain unusual circumstances which I've only ever seen in the movies. (Cornish pub, full of local fishermen, probably gossiping about smuggling in Cornish accents. In walks our hero from the big city, wearing a suit. Pub goes quiet. Hero walks nervously to bar and orders a beer. Barman serves him in silence, then says, "You ain't from around these parts, are ye?")

What is more common is to unconsciously modify one's behaviour in a subtle way. Approach a group of serious people, and I unconsciously feel the need to be serious. A laughing group, I go in smiling. Etc.

Yeah, but I was talking more like, rather than try to become what some other people may think I should, to become my ideal image of myself, which is more than a full-time job.