Please Note. The following is using the process known as Disemvoweling

Prtnng t th lstng f th 95 Thss

dn't knw xctly why, bt ths thng Dg Spldng's dng smlls f smthng cls t n ndrhndd mns t cnvy sm prsnl gnd gnst scrptr. Knwng Spldng's bg f trcks, dn't thnk m fr ff.

33. Oh, I think you can do without that. Your words come back to me when I look at a new sportcoat. Good Scottish tweed, it costs $130, and when I try it on, it makes me feel smart and lucky and substantial, but you're right, I can do without it, and so I will. You can get a perfectly good one at Sears for half the price. If I bought the $130 one, pride would leak in and rot my heart. Who do I think I am?

34. For fear of what it might do to me, you never paid me a compliment, and when other people did, you beat it away from me with a stick. "He certainly is looking nice and grown up." He'd look a lot nicer if he did something about his skin. "That's wonderful that he got that job." Yeah, well, we'll see how long it lasts. You trained me so well, I now perform this service for myself. I deflect every kind word directed to me, and my denials are much more extravagant than the praise. "Good speech." Oh, it was way too long, I didn't know what I was talking about, I was just blathering on and on, I was glad when it was over. I do this under the impression that it is humility, a becoming quality in a person. Actually, I am starved for a good word, but after the long drought of my youth, no word is quite good enough. "Good" isn't enough. Under this thin veneer of modesty lies a monster of greed. I drive away every faint praise, beating my little chest, waiting to be named Sun-God, King of America, Idol of Millions, Bringer of Fire, the Great Haji, Thun-Dar The Boy Giant. I don't want to say, "Thanks, glad you liked it." I want to say, "Rise my people. Remove your faces from the carpet, stand, look me in the face."

35. The fear of poverty haunts me. You weren't poor but you anticipated the possibility by believing you were.

"What if God was one of us, just a stranger on a bus. Just a slob like one of us, trying to find His way home....."

36. The fear of illness. You were seldom ill but you were always prepared to be.

quote:

Originally posted by rocket:
"What if God was one of us, just a stranger on a bus. Just a slob like one of us, trying to find His way home....."

Shhh! Quicet, Rocket, Doug needs to get through these 95 theses without interruption!

37. Your illnesses were the result of exhaustion by good works, mine the result of having disobeyed you and not worn a scarf, not taking vitamins. I crawl into bed like a dog and feel not only unwell but unworthy. If someone came into shoot me, I'd turn on the light so he could take better aim.

38. The fear of poverty and illness, brought on by a sudden craving for cheap wine. A flaw in my character, a weak seam, and one day I bend down to tie my shoes and hear a rip in my head, and on the way to work I pick up a gallon of muscatel, and spend my lunch hour in the alley. A month later, I have no job, no house, no car, and my nose is dark purple and swollen to the size of an eggplant. My voice is like sandpaper, I cough up gobs of phlegm, my liver feels like a sandbag. My teeth are rotten stumps. I crap in my pants and lurch toward strangers, mumbling about spare change. The flaw was created by disobeying you. "Someday you'll find out," you said, and I probably will.

39. Damn.

40. Damn.

41. Damn.

LMFAO!(The F in this case stands for the very good and misaligned word "fucking", one of my favorite words in the english language, sorry but its true and it has a myriad of different definitions depending on the situation and subtleties and inflections needed at the time, of course I also never use the word "gloop" in front of my kids either, that would just be wrong.) I on the other hand am vulgar I guess.

quote:

Originally posted by philnic:

quote:

Originally posted by rocket:
"What if God was one of us, just a stranger on a bus. Just a slob like one of us, trying to find His way home....."

Shhh! Quicet, Rocket, Doug needs to get through these 95 theses without interruption!

42. Damn.

[Three pages missing.]