Today on NPR Justin Timberlake was interviewed and the interviewer thanked him for wearing an NPR shirt. Justin said he was a "big fan" of NPR. Just by the way hearing him utter the (perfectly clean, three-letter) "f" word hit me in the gut--not in a good way--I knew I had issues.

They were just talking about how Justin can't often do "normal" things such as walk down a street. Well, there are disadvantages to being in the tiny fraction of the 1% who are outrageously good-looking, popular, talented, and successful, but there are perks too, and being able to say you are a "fan" of anyone or anything and have it be a compliment is sure as hell one!

Ray can say someone is a "fan" of his in the perfect straight and sincere way Justin used the word, with no sinister connotations. Yet if most mere mortals these days utter the word they get one of two reactions: "Look at that poor sap with no life" or "OMG, they're a fanatic, they're obsessed! Get a straightjacket and stab a needle in them before they hurt somebody!"

I was not upset with Justin (who didn't do anything wrong or anything to me) but with the double standard. While the VIPs are being hustled through the line the rest of us are shedding our shoes because one terrorist attempted to use a shoe, everyone who wears shoes is a potential terrorist, right?

So because I was looked down on for being a "fan" I not only suppressed my expression of emotion but the emotions themselves. Before hearing this it wasn't as if I didn't know what I was doing. I was just doing it and accepting it as how things had to be. Well, no more. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore! Look out, world, here comes a fan! Deal with it.

Thanks for listening, guys. I feel a little bit better today what with it being Halloween and having watched In the Good Old Summertime in which Buster appears and Judy Garland sings the outstanding "I Don't Care," which pretty well sums up my feeling to other people's attitudes about the whole fan thing.

I have one other thing to get off my chest, and then I'll really truly be all right (for the first time in a year--which scares me--as I have been not all right at least that long--) or I will not, but here goes.

The person appointed by this subject in which I was interested to let me down in 1997 managed to really misunderstand and upset me. I don't say insult me because it wasn't an intentional insult and this person was really perfectly suited for the job--just the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most understanding lady you could imagine and completely sympathetic but she did miss the mark with this question, which was something like, "Could you write someone's autobiography better than they could?"

Now, let me make this perfectly clear. I am not now nor ever have been whatsoever out to write anybody's autobiography for them in any way, shape, or form. The only exception would be in the unlikely event that someone came to me and asked and I agreed to work with them on it. Meaning, they would supply the information and I'd write it up--it doesn't mean making up their thoughts or their life for them, for crying out loud! That would be fiction. Which I have seen done, and done myself, even with real people as characters, and been happy with the result, but it isn't biography.

Now, the last thing on earth I want to write is boring biography. So & so was born at such and such a place, they are best known for this, they also did this, then they croaked at such a time and place. If you want that, read frickin' Wikipedia, I'd rather write fiction.

Neither do I propose to use only the subject's own words (when available) to describe their life. If you're going to do that, you may as well just compile a book of quotes, then put their name on it, because they wrote it.

What I had in mind, even in 1997, but was too demoralized to attempt to articulate had I found the words, was something a step ahead of a book of quotes, which is of course the subject's own words but only their personal "take" on the situation. With what I envision, the subject's thoughts and feelings would be so vividly portrayed the reader experiences them, but through their depiction by the author, not by just quoting the subject--but a step behind fiction, which is conjecturing or partly inventing events. I once saw a (small press) historical novel where the dialogue the author invented was in italics and the dialogue he took from original sources in regular print, a noble idea but probably not the thing for mainstream publication.

The other thing I wanted to do was depict the subject's impact on the object, that is, the viewer or reader of the subject's contributions. For instance, I would want to write a book about Ray that would present Ray to the reader with the kind of impact Ray has had on me, and so many here. Ambitious, I know! I had it in my mind all along to do this, but when I got the idea that, well, if I can't do it with this other subject, or even explain exactly what it is I want to do, maybe I can't do it with Ray. It has taken Buster Keaton to even straighten me out to the point of wanting to try. I do want to try to at least assemble the material and attempt to use it to compose books such as I describe on subjects dearest to me.

Per chance, a "Happy Halloween" image of inspiration should come your way Dandy!

http://www.pencilrevolution.com/uploads/dandwine2.jpg

(When classroom lights last turned off in June, I purposefully preserved several boxes of these classics from my cabinet. If you need a few, I'd be pleased to send your way!!)
f

Thanks for the inspiration. Save those to fall into the right hands!

Well, guys, here goes. It's official.

With your encouragement I have taken the plunge. I emailed Sam Weller letting him know my plan. As Ray's official biographer, I want to be upfront with him, also on his good side.

Today I mailed Ray a card stating my intentions. Zee has been informed it's coming and is ready to read it to Ray and relay his response.

Those of you who are praying people, I entreat your prayers, and those who are not even people, your prayers are just as welcome.

dandelion wrote:

quote:

..and those who are not even people, your prayers are just as welcome.

Sending affirming-beneficent-telepathic vibes on your behalf.

quote:

Originally posted by Linnl:
dandelion wrote:

quote:

..and those who are not even people, your prayers are just as welcome.

Sending affirming-beneficent-telepathic vibes on your behalf.

Wow, Linnl, so glad I was inclusive as my first answer is from a Martian!

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
Those of you who are praying people, I entreat your prayers, and those who are not even people, your prayers are just as welcome.

What about those who are people but do not pray? Never mind, good luck with it!

quote:

Originally posted by philnic:

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
Those of you who are praying people, I entreat your prayers, and those who are not even people, your prayers are just as welcome.

What about those who are people but do not pray? Never mind, good luck with it!

Okay, huge favor, those who are people, and do not pray, pray anyway, this is *that* big!

I am praying. Praying that this alarmingly great mood lasts. Nothing, of course, really lasts, but I have good reason to know how lengthy and persistent a bad mood is. Here I have caught an updraft and am riding the heck out of it for all it's worth.

Guys, I am off the deep end. I brought home a kitten today and named him Buster Kitten.

(Technically should have named him Mr. Electrico as he was born over Labor Day, but just had to have a Buster!)

Am currently hard at work fashioning a tiny pair of pajamas.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dandelion,

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
I brought home a kitten today and named him Buster Kitten.

Of course!

It was only right. Hey, happy Susan Bradbury's birthday and give the old Guy one for us!

Old Guy? Guy Fawkes?

There's a touching James Harriot Christmas story involving a cat named Buster.

quote:

Originally posted by Braling II:
There's a touching James Harriot Christmas story involving a cat named Buster.

I love him and have read all his cat stories. Was that the Christmas Day kitten?