"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"

More Steven Wright one-liners can be found here:
http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

(If you have nothing else to do!)

Braling II:
I've been living in a remote area of nowhere not to have heard of Steven Wright. Heard his stuff, but didn't know the man. Thanks for the link. Really really GREAT stuff!

669,600,000/mph or, roughly (what?), 890,568,000/kph!

Would the pen still be weightless at lightspeed and, therefore, unheard (re: hitting the floor) since it would be floating?

(SD: Yeah, keen perspective on SW's part. I'll use some of these in classes. Gracias!)

After further review, Mr. Wright IS himself traveling at the speed of light.

Two warnings:
1. Do not embarrass yourself by reading these short philosophies, queries, and clarifications while consuming any sort of liquid. (The drink will only end up shooting out your nostrils or being sprayed into the face of the person nearest you.)
2. Parents and teachers, refrain from reading these statements silently while in the presence of teenagers. (They always look at adults who are laughing out loud to themselves as being even weirder than they previously thought them to be.)

Good humor is Priceless!
("Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.") Give me a break!!!

Steven Wright has a great dead pan delivery. He's one of the few "clean" comedians these days. Others are John Pinette, Brian Regan, Aaron Wilburn, and Bob Nelson.

(Beware: if you "google" Bob Nelson, you may get older videos before he cleaned up.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Braling II,

If you like word games and have some time:

http://www.dedge.com/flash/hangman/hangman.swf

Exactly...
...how did I miss this 2005 Classic remake?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZXahvBqVGMc


...or THIS one for that matter...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ho2mCvoJja4

quote:

Originally posted by Nard Kordell:
Exactly...
...how did I miss this 2005 Classic remake?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZXahvBqVGMc


...or THIS one for that matter...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ho2mCvoJja4

Just lucky, I guess!

I kinda ("kinda") enjoy listening to these nut cases on the radio talking about changing to the new energy saving light bulbs and comparing that to getting rid of ten thousand polluting cars off the street. Good Gawds! They just flew the largest commercial plane in history today from Singapore. It can hold up to 800+ passengers. What's more, the order is for some 130 of these mega-jumbo jets. And the new Dreamnliners from Boeing, nearly as huge and certainly jet thirsty fuel mongrels, have orders in far exceeding the Airbus.

So...
... why don't they say it this way:
"Changing to those new energy saving light bulbs will be just like...getting rid of 10 new Airbus A380 Jumbo-Jumbo jets!" At least that sounds more like anyway...

Don't talk to me about energy-saving lightbulbs! On Saturday I bought a new light fitting, because the existing one in my living room* wasn't capable of putting out enought light. The store I went to had some marvellous new energy-saving bulbs (the LED type) in a special fitting, all at a special bargain price. According to the claim on the packaging, it should have been twice as bright as my old one.

It was less than half as bright.

Next day, back to the store. Refund.

Spent an hour and a half trying every light fitting in the store to find one which was capable of taking the fluorescent-type energy-saving bulbs.

The fittings that looked good weren't big enough to hold the bulbs.

The fittings that were big enough to hold the bulbs were designed for very low wattage bulbs, which would have been darker than my existing fitting.

Eventually I found a combination that was good, and now have a super-bright and energy-efficient living room.

At the moment in the UK there is no joined-up thinking between bulb-makers and fitting-makers.


*Doug Spaulding will probably like that British people have a living room!

For all their recently-touted advantages, fluorescent bulbs do have some disadvantages too.
They don't do well in even slightly damp areas, such as bathrooms.
They cannot be used with a dimmer switch.
There is some evidence that they are not good for you! There are some which compensate for the lack of parts of the natural light spectrum, but they aren't generally considered as kind to your eyes as incandescent bulbs.
And they make noise! High-pitched and annoying!I can often hear them myself.
I strongly suspect someone is making money off all this folderol.

quote:

Originally posted by philnic:
Doug Spaulding will probably like that British people have a living room!

I like it alright, I suppose - but what I really like is that the British say "marvellous" whilst speaking of their lighting issues.

quote:

Originally posted by philnic:
At the moment in the UK there is no joined-up thinking between bulb-makers and fitting-makers.

We have the same problem here with our frankfurters. They sell ten to a pack, but the buns only come eight to a pack!

Curious. I strongly suspect Agent Egan is behind this.

Folderol is a good word.

The frankfurter-bun discrepancy is a rum do, and no mistake. But worse is the chocolate-covered biscuit manufacturers who sell family packs containing 7 biscuits. 7 is a prime number, and cannot possibly be fairly shared by any family other than a 7-member family.

(Unless you cut or break the biscuits, which would be sacrilege.)

(Mmmm...sacrilicious...)