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free verse . . .. . . . or not.... to life
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Oh shoot, I've been caught in a feign of ignorance! Well played Mr. Harvey Dave!

"Oh, death!"
Posts: 176 | Location: The Forest of Aokigahara, Japan | Registered: 10 April 2009Report This Post
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Hi Harvey, and you curious folks....
How's things & hope all's well ? It's been a little while since I've wrote, and to be honest I kinda miss this thread, from a creative view point not from the bickering aspect ,though,,, but thought I'd share a few thoughts about writing and stuff,as a writter of words myself though from a much different side than a novelist, I've been writing songs and poems as a gutarist/song-writer for a long time 30yrs or so. And didn't really look at it as to what kind of style I have, but it's not too different from your free verse/style Harvey, but I do tend to get ideas and build a sort of theme around my initial subconcious thought's and lines.. for example a new song I've just written go's (about modern livin in a city such as I do in liverpool uk............

we live in the city,
but it ain't so pretty.
we don't seem to sing & dance
dance no more.
we live side by side
building brick so high.
adding windows but we don't
see no sky.

an' who am I to critise
I'm just a guy an average guy,
but it all seems wrong
when I see a little kid
smokin a cigerette..

just look up, just look around
we have the stars shining bright

we have the rivers, we have the seas
we have each other, we have our dreams,
we have the trees, we have the capacity to believe in love, light and shade...

we have the stars, we have the sun
shining down on everyone.
but it's the same day after day
we never seem to look up any more.

an' I beleive in the invisible...
a tranquil star shining bright with-in
me..shining bright with-in you...

cause when we have bad thoughts day after day
year after year, it just get ugly
so come, come bring back the sun-beams
bring on the sun, bring on the sun,,bring on the sun

seeing the invisible,
see-ing the invisible..
seeing the invisible,
seeing it in everything

the melody's pretty good too and that kind of makes it different, but not yet recorded it,

just thinking about it's meaning now, I guess it has traces and elements of The Martian Chronicles about it, we can't even get things right in the 21st century or appriciate what we've got, man-kind's got a lot to answer for i guess??

but that's a flavour and a purpose behind my kind of writing, any one else willing to open up their words,thoughts ideas and working ?

regards Dave
Posts: 66 | Registered: 04 February 2007Report This Post
that was awesome by the way . i really liked that dave . . . . .
......in my eyes , out my window pain , this life is only as bleak as i let it be , laughin at the rain , and swimmin in the lightnin , sure dont i feel the presence of god , how can you not , splashin like a fish set free , rumblin through my laughter , at all the things i got to see , thankin creation i am alive
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i would like to invite everyone on here to write something original they have written or maybe havent written yet . please ignore the past squables . you wont be judged , only appreciated for your bravery and uniqueness . just try not to go over a page . thanks from your friendly pooka HARVEY
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Hi Harvey, and all of you, how's things ? I'm ok just been working too many days and hours to put a message on here, but I wasn't surprised to see no replies to your offer, maybe all the previous stuff's put them off, but like you said we should all try and put it aside..though it's interesting, and good to see how many people have viewed this thread moving up to the 3,000 mark ? so I'd second it and say "have a go".... it's like jumping in to a lake you won't know what it's like till you do? or what's at the bottom until you let go and go with the flow you might even surprise yourselves, As an Abstract artist myself it's very simalar it's like not editing yourself and a bit of a risk and also being brave..... in the mean time I thought I'd share some song lyrics by David Bowie,and also the cut up or copy and paste style, have you heard of this method? maybe give it a try, ....
The cut-up technique is a literary technique in which a text is cut up and rearranged to create a new text. Most commonly, cut-ups are used to offer a non-linear alternative to traditional reading and writing.
The cut-up and the closely associated fold-in are the two main techniques:
• Cut-up is performed by taking a finished and fully linear text and cutting it in pieces with a few or single words on each piece. The resulting pieces are then rearranged into a new text.
• Fold-in is the technique of taking two sheets of linear text (with the same line spacing), folding each sheet in half and combining with the other, then reading across the resulting page.
More info on this on link; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut-up_technique
The concept can be traced to at least the Dadaists of the 1920s, but was popularized in the late 1950s and early 1960s by writer William S. Burroughs, and has since been used in a wide variety of contexts.
A more recent example of this cut up style of writing is by song writers such as David Bowie, lot of his more famous songs, Life on mars, Star man, and many more songs of his, but the one here called “Time will crawl “which is one of his lesser known song's off " Never let me down " Album period, which is a brilliant piece of writing and with the melody and music it becomes even better,have a listen or U-tube it ? it’s said to be about a nuclear war and the after-math,, but I think it could be equally applied to now and the current break down of society it a great example of the power of words, such emotions and back bone to it….
here's the words.....

Time Will Crawl" by David Bowie circa 1987

I've never sailed on a sea, I would not challenge a giant
I could not take on the church, till the 21st century lose

I know a government man, He was as blind as the moon
He saw the sun in the night, He took a top-gun pilot and he
He made him fly thru a hole, Till he grew real old
And he, and he, never came down, He just flew till he burst

Time will crawl, Till our mouths run dry
Time will crawl, Till our feet grow small
Time will crawl, Till our tails fall off
Time will crawl, till the 21st century lose

I saw a black, black stream, Full of white eyed fish
And a drowning man With no eyes at all
I felt a warm, warm breeze, That melted metal and steel
I got a bad migraine That lasted three long years
And the pills that I took Made my fingers disappear

Time will crawl, time will crawl, Time will crawl Till the 21st century lose

You were a talented child, You came to live in our town
We never bothered to scream When your mask went on,
We only smelt the gas, As we lay down to sleep

Time will crawl ….and our heads bowed down
Time will crawl ….and our eyes fall out
Time will crawl …..and the streets run red
Time will crawl ……till the 21st century lose

Time will crawl …..and our mouths run dry
Time will crawl …...and our feet grow small
Time will crawl …….and our tails fall off
Time will crawl ……..till the 21st century lose

Time will crawl …….and our heads bowed down
Time will crawl …….and our eyes fall out
Time will crawl ……and the streets run red
Time will crawl …….till the 21st century lose

For the crazy child…We'll give every life
For the crackpot notion Time will crawl …….till the 21st century lose
(repeat and fade)

WOW !! Fantastic stuff don't you think ?????

I'll have a go myself soon of the cut and paste and add my results asap, ok regards Dave
Posts: 66 | Registered: 04 February 2007Report This Post
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What has any of this got to do with Ray Bradbury? Perhaps there's a William Burroughs message board you could join.
Posts: 64 | Location: London, UK | Registered: 17 May 2009Report This Post
very nice . i like those alot . reminds me of V for Vendetta .
devining god through an i pod , all clusters on the brain , like the lightning snakes the rod , through a maze of earthquakes , till your nerves ache , pupils break . manifest somethin worth a damn next time , but dont sell the smurf , for nerf guns
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i heard ray say let the revolution begin , while an american mannequin mask mocks the past dreams of nuclear family expectations of a dieing nation , shutting down the space station , black boxes and yellow tape , they quarentine the great escape , and sell it to you at some later date , awake from the dream . induced comatose catatonic state , by flickering silver screens , and maybe somethin that you ate . something in the air , something lacking .
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as i listen to sounds of static from satelites cracking .
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i am drivin. ripped to ribbons, i'm inflamed . to stress to . ive been pressed to edge the flame , what wits been sent to i was meant to fuel the flame
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The man sat in the middle of the room . illuminated messages bounced off him and the walls , creating an eerie blueish green flickering glow . his favourite shows :
all the world in a box .
these invisible chains .
wrapped like tentacles around his brain .
steal his soul as they ease his pain .
slowly , O so slowly , drained .

as he sits , transfixed , a candle inside .
somewhere behind his eyes .
intuition doesnt lie .

if there are angles , and demons , surely we've been blinded fully , by our eyes . some knowledge has been lost . his symbol is a cross . his innaction a symphony .
but then , he says .

" awhile back , my tv started speaking to me . in gasps and bubbles , inaudible melodies .
till they became a beat .
i started twitchin my feet .
then i started dancin .
till me and my tv started romancin .
imagine that , we fell in love .
with my machine . "

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a poem from my book . just sharing

" ... this is how theyd escape , the tricks of the trade , theyd get high , close their eyes , blank their minds , so for just a little while they could stop weighing out the benefits of suicide , trapped in a bubble see though with nowhere to hide , it was an endless cycle , a horrible spell , that got put on the best of them and kept them in hell ...."
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i'm wondering what ray thinks about all the water on the moon ? has he made any statements so far ?
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hi harvey,how's things ?? I'm ok, sorry for my lack of imput lately , just that i've begun teacher training (primary sch)at Uni for past 4-5 wks and though i'm enjoying it , so much work and stuff to do, but just to say really liked your last few pieces of writing you have a natural talent & flow to your work , great stuff as usual, ,,, i'll have a go myself, working on few ideas which i'll post and share soon cheers and regards Dave
Posts: 66 | Registered: 04 February 2007Report This Post
good to hear , glad all is well , can't wait to hear some of your new thoughting. anyone coined that term yet? i thought i had coined the term dramasticated years ago while trying to say drastic and dramatic , but then i saw it on a beastie boys album years later . horrible .thats good you teach , learn em good. myself i am searching for work, i write for fun , and other than you or one or two, i dont think i'd be able to sell my writing. but i'll let you know when i finish my book, and even send you a copy free of charge.
Things are things...with strings jingling theories attached to wings....oh my oh man....all heads to sand though....never could understand....but it's fun to play around here in raybradburyland though
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