Okay, please go a little easy. My name is Augie, I'm 11 years old and have been writing since a young age. I am begining to enjoy the works of Mr.Bradbury, and would enjoy if those of you would share any comments about my passage from a story called "The Saga of Dorian Skyle"

Dorian Skyle is a young man living on the streets of Chicago. He seems about young teens, though his appeirence is altered by vampiric blood flowing through his veins.This is the end of the stor, thought no spoilers here.

A cold October chill swept across the streets of Chicago�s Theatre District. The sweet smell of soft rain, left over from summer mixed with the tempting fragrance of popcorn that blew out of the vents of the Oriental Theatre. Sounds of various musicals being muffled by the light pit pat of soft raindrop hitting the tin roof rang out with so much detail, only to be ignored a deaf night sky.

Amber autumn leaves fell onto a decorative pumpkin outside a local restaurant, and yet, no one seemed to be annoyed by the offspring of the gentle giants growing on almost every street. The occasional How are you was the only thing that was breaking the silence this night. Cars seemed to be going slower, and making less noise, birds were sleeping, and even the wise old owl had not hooted this peaceful night.

I sat on the curb near the Palace Theatre eating a cheeseburger from the local fast food joint. As I stared into the emblem on my wrapper of a clown with the money and power to save lives, or through the greasy food, to take it, it dawned on me, that this was my life. Not off killing demons, or mingling in the occult. Here, on these streets. This city was just like a human, it had a heart, and these streets carried the people that kept it alive, these streets were veins. But why should I have to protect mankind? It is too much of a job for someone my age. I have plenty of years to do it.

The silence broke with a scream that came from in an alley behind me. I went to see that there was a woman lying dead with a large chunk missing from her neck. A trail of blood showed me that about a score yard away, there was something jumping rooftop to rooftop, and suddenly, I found a purpose.

"Organized Confusion"
I think your writing is very good, and hope you keep at it. I don't know about all this vampire stuff though. Kinda scares me. Remember there are bright spots in this world worth mentioning too. You have very impressive writing talent for one so young. I happen to know you are a very sensitive individual, and love peeking inside of your imagination. You make me proud to carry the title "your father". I love you son, and thank God for the day he added you to my life.
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BrainSparks

WOW!

BrainSparks, is that really your son?

Yes, it is. I'm very proud of him too! He's always been ahead of his crowd. After 5 years of living apart, him, and his two sisters, have come to live withy me as of yesterday! There is much to be thankful for today in my house.

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BrainSparks

aye, he is, and thanks for the comment.

The topic of a vampire is just an experiment I did. Accually, I mostly write in the fantasy genre. John Ronald Reuel Tolkein is my favorite author. I am surprised to find out Ray Bradbury co-wrote with him. But from this experiment, I learned that I can write in other genres, so, As the sun sets, wind blows, and seasons change.

Truly,
OrganizedConfusion

BrainSparks,

You said: "After 5 years of living apart, him, and his two sisters, have come to live withy me as of yesterday!"

Very similar situation here. My watch starts in about 30 days.

OrganizedConfusion,

Your writing is EXCELLENT! Keep writing, keep learning, and (most important) keep the innocence of wonder. YOU WILL BE PUBLISHED!

A lot of SF/Horror authors and aspiring authors hang out here- http://www.bewilderingstories.com/

They have monthly contests, publish your stories online, do some "workshop" type exercises, have a forum, and offer general resources and support. Jerry Wright, the editor, is a really kind man. He just sent me a copy of Clifford Simak's CITY and James Blish's CITIES IN FLIGHT, for free.
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A few more good sites to start with:
http://www.sfwa.org/writing/
http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/
http://lazette.net/vision/

[This message has been edited by grasstains (edited 02-16-2005).]

This is pretty amazing! Only 11 years old! Man, if only I had known I wanted to write at such a young age. I'm probably not much better at 21, having only been seriously writing for a couple of years now. I can't imagine being 11 and writing that well. Keep it up OrganizedConfusion. I see a definite future in writing ahead of you. Just stay young at heart, and don't let your talent go to your head...too much (though you have every right to let it do so.)

Damn this kid! He's always one upping me.LOL He's been much smarter than me since he was eight. He's in the gifted program too. I tried to pay the teachers to take him out in the woods and leave him, but you know the story. He dropped a trail of Dorito's and found his way home again. I love you Augie. Make daddy proud.

Grass Stains I hope when you clock starts it's the best time of your life! Children are the greatest gift God and life has to offer. Consider yourself blessed. Oh, and remember to hide the cookies too.

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BrainSparks

Cookies? Cookies?! WHERE!!!!?!?!?!?!?!

Thanks for the compliments. This is probably the only real good part of the story.

P.S-
keep posted about MixedSig's homophobic rantings, as sick and wrong as it is, I'm just laughing like a madman. Gotta admit, that story about Homer's Minivan was a little out there!
Time passes, winds blow, seasons change.
OrganizedConfusion

[This message has been edited by OrganizedConfusion (edited 02-17-2005).]

yea brainsparks?or shold i say daddy?from now on i will be 1 step ahead of u 2!!!muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah muhahahahahahhhhahahahahahahahahahaha "gasp" muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Am I missing something here?

EyeFartBubbles is my nine year old daughter. She is also gifted. She has a very silly nature about her too. Happy, and innocent. Her name is Genevieve, we call her Genny. She picker her goofy name because she thinks everyone should laugh and be happy all the time. Be nice to her, as she is a gentle spirit in a nasty world. Genny wants to be a photographer when she grows up. She also likes anything her Daddy likes. I told her about Ray Bradbury,and will read her the first story by him she has heard. She is very excited about this place and all the good people that dwell here.

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BrainSparks

quote:

Originally posted by OrganizedConfusion:
John Ronald Reuel Tolkein is my favorite author. I am surprised to find out Ray Bradbury co-wrote with him.

Organized Confusion:
What did Bradbury and Tokien work on together? I was not aware they had any connection with each other as far as co-writing goes.

Hello Again! So many places to visit! Just to let you all know that we're here to keep the big mouths and the loud mouths and whatever else we got around here that makes trouble---less noisy! We do that by just loading up the old Nautilus here and firing away at them posts. Sorry if we scatter a few bystanders. We'll be moving out shortly, but aim to get them troublemakers looking over their shoulder while we're here.

Yestermorrow! Hey, by the way, if anyone is trying to make you think that Tolkien and Bradbury somehow worked together on one thing or another, you can be as sure as fish swim that you've just been had. Those two illustrious writers were also an ocean apart. And believe me! We know a thing or two about oceans around here.
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