All my life it seems I've been able to have intense interests on a subject for awhile, then set it aside in favor of another, except for periods Ray might describe as the "desperate empties" between interests. It seemed to people (mainly two family members) that I had then lost interest. I caught absolutely no end of grief for all this. If I was too interested in a subject I was "obsessed." If I showed a waning interest in that subject or an interest in more than one at once I was "fickle." Well, they should be glad I have the ability to have a number of interests at once because the whole definition of obsession is interest in a subject to the exclusion of all else. By the strictest possible of definitions I am not even obsessed with Ray, but of course by all other definitions I am.

Since reading that first story in 1975, I have filtered every perception through Ray's lens. I have picked up any number of bits of trivia because they are somehow related to Ray's life and work. I haven't necessarily always liked something because Ray did, but I have been DEEPLY dismayed when he didn't like something I did. I agonized over whether I should like Rod Serling and The Twilight Zone because Ray had problems with them. I have had ten or so very happy years in the fandom but still feel that little twinge of guilt for going behind Ray--alleviated by the fact that people who know and love Ray also got along with Rod.

I may not be in the top half-dozen as far as knowing Ray's life and work and if I am it is by default as a number of major people have passed away in the past few years, but I am high enough to not only know the names of those who are but to have conversed or corresponded with or met most of them. One of my two letters from Norman Corwin was about a short story in which he referred to the International Ray Bradbury Fan Club. I wrote asking if there was such a thing so I could join. He wrote a very sweet letter back saying no, but there should be. Well, I guess now we are it!

As for these family members of mine, my dad was never au courant on what I liked well enough to know what I was into at the moment or how much. He would just get it into his head that I liked a thing and continue to mention it even if my interest in that had slacked or I was actively trying to quit. This was a lot better than my mom and older sister, who lamented what they saw as my tendency to blow hot and cold. The younger sister is not (usually) that judgmental but the older one will find any excuse to be critical.

They can't be blamed for what I didn't know myself. Starting around 1999 I discovered that interests from the 70s and 80s which I had thought were stone cold over were revived almost immediately, sometimes the same or less and sometimes more or stronger, for instance when an old show would start running when I hadn't seen it in a long time. I was unnerved when this first happened and am now learning to accept and maybe eventually even welcome it. I'm capable of forming new interests, too, even after I swore up, down, and sideways that after age 50 I was too old to have my emotions swayed and taken on a rollercoaster ride.

So when I got into fandom and especially after the internet came along I thought I'd caught a break because now at least my family wouldn't have to hear about my strong interests. That is one of the times my younger sister said something really mean, to wit: "That's what I hate about the internet, because it allows all the nuts to get together, instead of each one thinking, as they properly should, that they're the only one."

Getting into online fandoms I learned there are a lot of thought Nazis out there. Read my guidelines on Deletions, What Goes, What Stays. I totally agree on objections to material that is libelous, obscene, off-topic, unwanted advertising, etc., but I found on some forums you don't dare have any opinion that differs from the "party line" laid down by those who have designated themselves the "chosen few" and if you deviate at all you WILL GET STOMPED. I just can't have my creativity stunted that way and have never let it happen on this board. I tried to get people not to post poetry and was beaten back with heavy losses even on that.

Anyhow having lived long enough I've learned that I can carry a strong interest until associations with or relating to it become too painful and it literally has to be left to cool down for awhile, but even if I think I won't, months or years later I can pick up with the same interest, which can take the same or similar or different form but is an interest in the same subject. Sometimes I have simply dropped an interest and sometimes I actively TRIED to give it up because of the effects of getting too attached to anything. (People who have had a pet die will understand.) It's almost comical; it's like trying to put out a fire. You get one spot out and it springs up in another. The same interest, or as strong interest in a different subject. The different subject can be something I was previously unaware of, or something I knew of but was just not that into at the time. I spend more energy questioning or fighting it than it would take to give in to it so as of now I officially say what the heck! It's wrong to let people try to make you ashamed of your interests. Ray went through it all in 1929 with Buck Rogers.

Ray is the one (possibly only) interest where this never happened. For one, there is enough by and about him that it never runs out. He is simply a bottomless well, so I'm not like, well, I've been through all of that person's work so now I need to set it aside and move on. He is truly the burning bush that has burned for 36 years and never is consumed. Not one day has gone by in all these years that I haven't been reminded of some aspect of him and thought and wondered about how he is doing. What's more, no one has ever given me grief for liking Ray, and if they have I didn't listen.

They tell me, "Don't make a fool of yourself." What if someone had told Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin that? They would never have been able to do anything. They tell me, "Don't save everything," then come to me asking for something, I have it, they then take it and beat me over the head with it for saving it. Yet I learned by what Ray found in 1929, save everything! (Though stories like "Season of Disbelief" about how it all comes back to bite you in the butt have validity, still. SAVE IT!)

It's disconcerting how like even on a place such as a fandom which is SUPPOSED to be about liking something if I show too much enthusiasm on a subject it's regarded with fear and suspicion. Ray has never acted like this. He is totally accepting and encouraging of enthusiasm and has no trouble referring to a person as a "fan" and treating them as a valued friend. He is practical and might offer a word of caution if he sees a person throwing a lot of time, money, and effort into something which may not pay off for them but he admires the drive, unlike these others who throw cold water all over you. Even on a message board let alone a project, I'll make what for me is a fairly simple statement and some bitch tells me to get off my soapbox. I feel like saying, "Sister, you ain't even seen my soapbox!" I mean, they have nooo concept. Half the time if they even read what I wrote they'd twist the meaning out of all recognition. This does not encourage one's pursuing writing.

Ray is the all-encompassing and redeeming interest that surrounds and more than equals the sum of all the others. I have really only one problem and that is that I like and rely on Ray as much as or more than on the Bible. I'm awfully afraid this will get me called up on the carpet in the afterlife, but what can I say, this has given my life structure and meaning and I must be true to it.

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dandelion,

Wow Dandy, you said a mouthful there!

Everybody needs something or someone constant and unchanging as an anchor to their life. I'm glad you found yours in Ray, and I'm sure he would be happy to hear he has been your bedrock.
I do hope though, that your family don't follow your posts on this forum!

I'm a new boy here and only just starting to get a feel for the place, but I know what you mean about some other sites and forums.

I hope you will remain active and just as enthusiastic for many years to come.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alive,

I don't mention my family by name in my posts here or elsewhere and as far as I know neither them nor people they know go to the same forums as I do, but if they did I assure you I would be in huge trouble. This is my way of living dangerously. That's great you're Alive and know it.

P. S. to Phil: obviously the sister you met was the younger one.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dandelion,

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
...P. S. to Phil: obviously the sister you met was the younger one.

I guessed that must be the case!

quote:

Originally posted by philnic:

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
...P. S. to Phil: obviously the sister you met was the younger one.

I guessed that must be the case!

Yes, Phil, and she loved you almost as much as I did!

Here is something I need to share with you regarding Ray and his enthusiasms, that Donn Albright said when I visited him in 1984, his words as nearly as I can recall. Donn said, "He's just like a little kid. He'll pick up something, be all excited about it for awhile, then drop it and pick up something else. He's just like a little kid."

Ray is utterly unapologetic about this. He accepts and embraces it. Yet people have taught me to be ashamed of my enthusiasms. Maybe I talk about a subject that doesn't interest others. Then, after a point, I either stop talking because it doesn't interest them or I have said everything I have to say about it. I am then seen as "disloyal" because I don't talk about it or go for it as I did. If I really like something, though, I get too deep into it and am an "obsessed nut."

Well, Ray doesn't have a problem with this, it doesn't occur to him that he should, and if someone called him on it, he would tell them where to go, and so I am creating an off-topic forum here, which can still relate to Ray if only tangentially, and I am going to launch it by posting something that interests me, so brace yourselves and prepare to deal with it.

THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SHERIFF HAS SPOKEN.

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
I am going to launch it by posting something that interests me, so brace yourselves and prepare to deal with it.

THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SHERIFF HAS SPOKEN.

Intriguing!

Fully braced Dandy - are you? If it's something you are interested in but the interest is not common to other members, you may have to expect some negative comments or opinions, or maybe little response. Guess that's a chance you take.

Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by Alive:
Fully braced Dandy - are you? If it's something you are interested in but the interest is not common to other members, you may have to expect some negative comments or opinions, or maybe little response. Guess that's a chance you take.

Good luck!

I am SO there--I'm psyched--I am in the zone--! The spirit is willing but the flesh was weak, I didn't do it last night because I was tired.

Sorry, guys, I just checked and Forums 5-9 are marked as "disabled," meaning it would take a forum administrator to enable them, and there may be no such animal. I tried to contact the management while trying to give Phil moderating privileges and no one has answered--I just had to trial and error till I could do it myself.

I wanted to name the new forum "Ruled Paper" and let it be for Off-Topic posts. I guess we will just have to keep heading our Off-Topic posts appropriately under whichever forum they most seem to fit.

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
Sorry, guys, I just checked and Forums 5-9 are marked as "disabled," meaning it would take a forum administrator to enable them, and there may be no such animal. I tried to contact the management while trying to give Phil moderating privileges and no one has answered--I just had to trial and error till I could do it myself.

I wanted to name the new forum "Ruled Paper" and let it be for Off-Topic posts. I guess we will just have to keep heading our Off-Topic posts appropriately under whichever forum they most seem to fit.

No admins? You mean we're on auto-pilot?
Somebody must be paying the bills. Ray's publishers?

A few years ago someone did something to merge this forum with an older version. That's the last we've heard from them.

quote:

Originally posted by dandelion:
A few years ago someone did something to merge this forum with an older version. That's the last we've heard from them.

Whoah!
You mean we're lost in cyberspace? Cast adrift and forgotten, doomed to ever wander the non celestial heavens of the internet, searching for our creator in virtual space and time?

Right on Halloween too. Does Ray know about this? What a plot idea for his greatest story!

Do I get royalties?

Actually, it means WE'RE INVISIBLE AND WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT! (Hey, get your clothes on!)

quote:

Originally posted by Alive:
Cast adrift and forgotten, doomed to ever wander the non celestial heavens of the internet, searching for our creator in virtual space and time?

Been done. SPACE: 1999. With a bit of STAR TREK thrown in!