...and I was wondering if anyone wanted to read it once I'm done editing it tonight. I know I won't get much sleep since I'll be up all night fixing and worrying about it, but Maybe tomorrow. I don't know, It's not very good. But I'm glad I was in the classroom early enough so that I was the one to be able to use him for my paper. It's not very long, only about 6-ish pages right now, so I don't know if I should bother to even write this...

But I guess I am anyways. So, should I post it here? And, if I do, please be somewhat gentle when ripping it apart. I know that writing isn't a strong point of mine. I'm doing well in all my other classes, but in English I'm only getting a "B". >_> But it's mine. MY paper, MIME. So I want to try to make it not as bad. improve my writing, if only a little bit.

Anyways, Good morning/afternoon/evening/night, whatever it is all over the world. ^_^

Squirrelflight64, post it! I'm sure people here would be interested.

(If it's too long, or if you are fearful of critics, feel free to email it to me and I'll send you some comments. You can use temp@bradburymedia.co.uk )

Make sure that your teacher or professor doesn't use an internet plagiarism checking program before you post your paper here.

oh yeah, i think she does... hrm, im guessing she'd see it here and not know its me.... and then id get im big trouble. because apparently, i would be copying a paper written by myself. >_<

now what do i do? it would be nice to leave something that explains this, but theres no way in the world im leaving anything personal on the internet. i mean, its creepy enough that i bet someone could figure out who i am, if they are a good hacker. thats scary.

Nico, you live in redmond?!?! my aunt lives in Washington. she's so cool. wouldnt it be funny if you've seen her, or met her? whats it called...? six degrees of separation? yeah, i think thats the name for what im thinking of.

i suppose i could just wait until my teacher grades them all, but that will take forever-and-a-half. is it safe to e-mail it, or will that put it up too? -_-' oh well. this kinda stinks. i wanted to get some ideas of how my writing really is. i know its not great. i think its horrible. (or fantastically awful, whichever you prefer) but i know im too hard on myself over everything. i think its kinda sad im so competitive about my grades and stuff....

Emailing is safe, it's only posting to publicly-accessible places that would make it visible to anti-plagiarism software.

quote:

i think its kinda sad im so competitive about my grades and stuff....

Are you working towards a career destination you're passionate about? No shame in wanting your dream, as long as you don't forget the other people in your life when you search for it.

Nico,
but... I have no idea what I want to do. Something with numbers/science, yes. But beyond that... I have no clue as to what I want to do. Hopefully I could have a job with animals; that would be SWEET!

Philicic,
So could I send you an email and attach it? It would be nice to get an opinion about my paper from someone who isn't going to alter what they're going to say because they're my friend. I need clear truth, not to be told it's fine and really there's problems with it. Because my writing NEEDS to get better. Otherwise, I'll fall behind eventually. I need to stay with the tempo, if that makes any sense.

Sure, Squirrel, attach it to an email and I'll send you some comments.

so, im guessing you didnt get it. since i sent it and haven't heard a response.

whatever, its ok. forget it. but, funnily enough, i got an "A". go figure. i still don't see how in the world that happened. it makes no sense to me.... my writings isn't good at all... -_-;;;

quote:

Originally posted by Squirrelflight64:

whatever, its ok. forget it. but, funnily enough, i got an "A". go figure. i still don't see how in the world that happened. it makes no sense to me.... my writings isn't good at all... -_-;;;

Just because it didn't convey the ideas as precisely as you wanted it to, doesn't necessarily mean it's "bad writing!"

Relax, my friend. Relax.

but its not good enough. not to me... my writing is never good enough. oh well, go blame my parents for pushing me so hard, and blame me fro taking that in to myself.

SF64:

Write ~ Everyday.
Listen ~ How do your words sound to you in your head and when spoken from the paper?
Read ~ Get a copy of Zen in the Art of Writing by RB. It is a very informative and inspiring collection of episodes in Mr. Bradbury's own journey as a writer.

RE: I am now finishing a year with 16 honors sophomores who have written much over the past ten months. We have studied grammar, discussed style, practiced and editted structures, read many genres, exchanged criticisms, and voiced interpretations. To what end?

I wanted each student to develop a personal style of writing. They have composed haiku, sonnets, critical essays, creative reflections, satires, analytical reviews, and are now finishing with short stories. In the recent weeks, my seemingly endless lugging of compositions and late night corrections have started to reveal the dividends. I am being rewarded by quality stuff at every "page turn!"

How? I have kept their teenage toes to the fire. I have relentlessly stressed "Write, Listen, Read, Edit, Revise, Produce a Quality Final Edition!" I have not told them that it must sound "like this" or be sure to write it "like that!" They have come to an understanding of sound basics, and now their quantity and quality flourish via the process they have learned.

So! Find yourself a copy of Zen and Writing. Read Mr. B's shorter stories. He has some magnificent examples of saying profound things in few words. Here are some favorites I often utilize:
Drummer Boy of Shiloh
Pedestrain
The Rocket,
The Lake
The Emissary
The Dragon
All Summer in a Day
The Flying Machine
Icarus Montgolfier Write
In a Season of Calm Weather ...to name a few greats!

Take this not as an assignment, for it is not intended as one. Rather as an exercise in finding your voice and style. It takes practice, patience, and personal desire. It sounds like you have the makings. Now enjoy "your" journey...

quote:

All Summer in a Day

oh, I LOVE that story. or rather, love and hate it at the same time. Or, well, I dont hate the story, but I hate how they treat that little girl. She's the only one brave enough to risk getting hurt, risk hoping, adn she's the one that misses out. SHE's the one who gets hurt.

-_-;;; i guess i empathize with her a bit. kids are vicious little buggers. they rip and tear, rip and tear, but not always literally sometimes. sometimes its teh fabric of each other. THATS what I hate. i wonder, to all you "old" people: do you forget what its like? is tha why nothing gets done?

oops. hehe, i guess i got a little carried away. [its] something i get all crazy over, i guess.



The Rocket? have i read that? is that the story where the guy basically sets up a movie inside the rocket to make his kids thing they're in spoace? or is it something else?

quote:

Originally posted by Squirrelflight64:
but its not good enough. not to me... my writing is never good enough. oh well, go blame my parents for pushing me so hard, and blame me fro taking that in to myself.

If you're being pushed to write well, that's the problem.

quote:

Originally posted by Squirrelflight64:
so, im guessing you didnt get it. since i sent it and haven't heard a response.

Squirrelflight, I MIGHT have got it, but it was probably intercepted by my spam filter. When I catch up with myself (I've been out of the country for a week, and away from email for about 10 days - lots of catching up to do!), I will look through the spam trap and see if it's sitting there.

Anyway, since you got an A your writing can't be all bad!

I agree with fjp451. Follow his advice, and you can't go wrong. All of us who write know that feeling of inadequacy. You should tap into that, and use it to drive yourself to write better.

But you also need to learn how to calibrate your own response to that of others. If an informed reader gives you an A, trust them. If you consider it was only C level writing, you know that your C corresponds to their A.

If you ever get your writing to what YOU consider to be an A, imagine how blown away they will be by what you write!