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50 Words or Less: Write in Bradbury Verbiage
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posted
This assignment, if anyone should accept...is to write... with a Bradbury Expression of Words, anything of your own choosing...in 50 words or less.

Can it be done?

Well, I'll give it a try to start it off:

"Mars! God, yes! It was there! Floating above the sea. It took all our hearts thru all our life. Took the sweet smell of long long ago years and held it blossom fresh upon the sky, eternally."

Now that was done in 37 words. Whose next?
 
Posts: 3954 | Location: South Orange County, CA USA | Registered: 28 June 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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50 words, huh? Well, at least it's a short assignment:

"Lin Wu knew the irony. Space was black around him as he approached the ancient International Space Station -- the symbol of man's unity in space. But while earth was covered with flashes and noises, they fought on the station. Smaller flashes, but deadly, still. Earth quieted down 200 years later. Earth had degraded. But as Lin Wu looked through the small window, he could see that the space station was almost sterile in its empty cleanliness. His was the first rocket to get through the atmosphere. Earth continued to yearn for space, but the atmosphere was too powerful. They had made Earth a prison. He was the first person to break out and see what remained. From his vantage point, the station looked perfect. Still, he approached with butterflies. . .

(125 words) How about 125 words or less? Each time I tried to edit it to shorten it, it just got longer. I had to stop before writing my first rejected novel.

Also, it is easy to see why I do prose, not fiction; but it's still a fun exercise.

(When will I learn to check spelling BEFORE posting it?!?

There are alleged fiction writers out there. Is anyone else going to try, or do I have to remain in this prominent position -- embarrassing myself with this insignificant attempt?


[This message has been edited by Mr. Dark (edited 12-10-2002).]
 
Posts: 2769 | Location: McKinney, Texas | Registered: 11 May 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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In the year of our lord 2023, Johnson finally arrived at his destination, out of breath and still wearing the icy emptiness of 5 trillion miles of space. His oh-so-foreign hosts greeted him warmly. �Hello,� he replied, �it�s good to be here.�
And it was.


Sincerely,
Matthew Allen
 
Posts: 8 | Location: Antioch | Registered: 12 May 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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At that instant my deepest curiosity
seized, I witnessed brilliant yellows, reds,
greens, blues, amazing purples, devouring
all. Rolling from horizon to sky, it seemed
a molten rainbow, though incomprehensibly
fierce!

I thought, "Hilarious!", and tried to
laugh. No time! Hideous, the nuclear-demon
was undeniable.

No goodbyes, last kiss or hug for wife and
boys, not one word?

It rushed, rolled. Oh, God! ...How?

It arrived. All light, heat, fear, loss.
No! No...Yes!

"One final breath..."

Starkly awake, 3:00 a.m. I shuddered. Then
softly came a cough from one of the boys,
asleep in his bed.
 
Posts: 732 | Registered: 29 November 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Whew! Tough task. This much closer to 50.
_________________________________________

The thread-bare flag now barely fluttered. The young boy secreted away, his parents decorating family graves with red geraniums and soon-to-bud white mums.

Approaching he wondered, "What Happened?", "Who was this man?", now long-forgotten.

Wet earth soaked his knees. Silently, he cleared away the last of autumn leaves that adorned this place. A cold tear fell upon "Corporal James W. Quinn."
 
Posts: 732 | Registered: 29 November 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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fjpalumbo / Mr. Dark:::::::

Yes... very difficult to keep inside the 50 word limit. I have one sentence...yes... one sentence that runs for 150 words plus. Oh Well::: Here's another stab at it, at under 50 words:

Heroes there will be.
Alive today, learning how to spell their names, wondering what the moon is made of. How could you ever pick them out in a crowd of schoolboys? Something obviously has picked them out already.


Okay, here's another:: (Oops, this one went over 50....)

He looked at his hands, he studied his hands, the whorls, the fingertips, the whorls, the designs, the hard deep designs where his eyes got frequently lost in the maze. He bit his lips and stared up at the stars and felt his heart beating again. It was that time again, wasn't it?

Mr. Dark is right... How about 125 words or less..........................................................?
 
Posts: 3954 | Location: South Orange County, CA USA | Registered: 28 June 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The liquid is clinging to the sides of my arms as I slip below the surface. My existence of sublime remembrance spreads as swiftly as thought to my extremities. My only home for the moment, until this tear of melancholy by gravity is shed.


44 this is a challenge. Nard keep the good ideas flowing.

[This message has been edited by uncle (edited 12-19-2002).]
 
Posts: 247 | Location: Utah, U.S.A. | Registered: 10 December 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The works written in this posting are good. However, I don't believe that writing in a manner that copies Mr. Bradbury's style serve's any purpose. It�s idolism.

It would be more moving to write 50 words of original work in one's own style inspired by Mr. Bradbury.

(47 words)
 
Posts: 1 | Location: Philadelphia, PA, United States of America | Registered: 03 January 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You may be right. But you obviously are not a teacher. We thrive on the assignment of these kinds of things. We're trying to age the young, because we are jealous that your joints don't hurt all the time.

The actual point is to try and get inside Bradbury's head and style to understand it better. The attempt to imitate is a standard means of learning. Kids see us walk, they walk. Then, when they become arrogant teenagers, they swish and sway. (I know this because I had this ridiculous lift in my step when I walked back in high school. I thought it was jaunty and carefree. In retrospect it, along with my long hair and torn jeans, probably didn't convey anything but idiocy!)

Nevertheless, I digress . . .

In attempting to imitate Bradbury's style, we learn more about what that syle consists of. It is not a matter of idolotry (I sacrifice no squirrels to him), it is a matter of trying to get a better understanding of what constitutes his style. What's behind it. Why and how does it work?

Worthwhile attempts in a lighter-hearted way. No dissertation, just some creative writing that causes us to carefully look at his style. That's all. I wouldn't over-react.
 
Posts: 2769 | Location: McKinney, Texas | Registered: 11 May 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Plus it's just plain fun.
 
Posts: 614 | Location: Oklahoma City, OK | Registered: 30 April 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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And in attempting to capture even a phrase that barely captures the Bradburian tone two things become evident:
-It is difficult and thought-wrenching
-HE has done this flawlessly for 60+ yrs!!??

For long time fans, it really is fun!
It may even make better writers of those who set their sights so high.
 
Posts: 732 | Registered: 29 November 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Okay....so it seems its somewheres up to 50, or 125 words, reading over the previous postings... Let me try another therefore.....

"In the rain, each and every one of us threw hands to head and men in cool summer jackets sprung them up in great umbrellas as we ran and shrieked for our lives and tumbled headlong to canopy or tent."

That's 40 words, Fellahs and Goils!
 
Posts: 3954 | Location: South Orange County, CA USA | Registered: 28 June 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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In the blue darkness between night and morning he sat before the screen, attempting to conjure inspiration from the keys. But as the blue grew lighter in that timeless hour, inspiration failed to appear.

For such is the way of the muse, when not properly invited to share her secrets...

At sunrise, he got up and fed the cat.
 
Posts: 2 | Location: Seattle, WA, USA | Registered: 20 January 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Haven't actually counted this, but here's a few sentences to describe some of the responses to this thread:

The intoxication of eulogistic words arranged in faultless harmony delights my literary senses like a fine wine rolling across a discerning tongue. I drool over the phonetic infusion, becoming mindfully euphoric when flawless endeavor sustains my indulgence.

[This message has been edited by Celestial (edited 01-20-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Celestial (edited 01-20-2003).]
 
Posts: 118 | Location: Gulfport. MS | Registered: 10 January 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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